Men Hate Women And Women Hate Men: The Internet's Propaganda
The internet convinced me that I'm in danger the moment I walk outside. Until I actually walked outside.
Post-covid, we saw an upsurge of misogynistic and even misandrist (it's real but never an equal counterpart to misogyny) content online. Creeps like Andrew Tate trying to be a self proclaimed mouthpiece of all men has given more such men to feel increasingly comfortable in voicing their absolutely vile and regressive nonsense in the name of male empowerment. Seeing such content, young impressionable boys and insecure men started idolizing them, spewing hate through posts and on random women's comments sections. The sudden rise of misogynist content, even if their creators are limited, started getting women's attention. Under the garb of the keyboard and the safety of the anonymity that the internet brings, such men started saying things that anyone reading, especially if it were a woman, would feel absolutely terrified of all men, even if she saw a few such comments. This would mould her reality and opinions of men which she applies in real life on men around her. From this fear stemmed a huge resistance from all women, being skeptical of every man and pushing back with counter extreme ideologies in an attempt to make the internet howsoever safer they could. This led to the internet becoming a space where publicly men and women showed disinterest in each other's upliftment, even when it is a seemingly wise decision to make. This led to further generalisation of men and women into haters of each other, taking us back to the 70s.
Except, this isn't real. The internet isn't real. Undoubtedly crimes against women exist and still happen in awfully high numbers and there have also been cases of women who misuse laws made for them. But that isn't the only truth. For every online misogynist, exists 100s of men who support women's education, offer a pregnant lady their seat, walk an extra mile to make sure their female friend gets home safe at night, believes and supports the woman who comes out as a victim of abuse, help a random old woman cross a street and so much more. There exists these men and not just a few, in huge quantities in today's day. All of them might not be feminists, might not even truly understand what women feel and face, but they're not the monsters we see online. Alot of the online men are just insecure, some haters for the sake of hating, some actually that deranged but remember, they can't manifest their monstrosity (iykyk) in real life because of the law. So because of a handful of men, many of whom are sheep in monster's clothing, dominate women's minds when we think of men, when in actuality, such men are just a disservice to real men.
In the same way, just because you can find news of tons of women lying about being abused, being raped, doesn't mean every woman is lying. Just because you see certain pseudo feminists calling a woman a girlboss for cheating on her boyfriend, doesn't mean all women cheat or glorify cheating. Again, these issues exist, but defining and generalising and entire genders’ lived experience based on a few articles you've read, is unfair and an oversimplification of bigger issues. For every woman misusing the law, there exist women who have gone through the trauma of being victims of various crimes and some couldn't even get the justice they deserved. For every pseudo feminist, there's 100s of genuine feminists who will be the only and most vocal supporters of you in case you come out as gay, or experience violence of any kind. There's women who willingly inform their friend's boyfriends in case their friend in cheating on them. These are real life women, who you don't see online. Yet they fail to meet our eyes because we don't experience everything at the rate in which the internet experiences things. This article reports on how social media platforms boost misogynistic content. And here we are falling prey to the internet's misogynistic propaganda.
Another factor that needs to be considered is the fact that news mostly reports the unpleasant things, while the day-to-day normal things are considered too “regular” to be covered. In a time when everyone is fighting for people's attention, unfortunately the more horrible the news, the more reception it gets. From clickbait titles to exaggerated details, the internet is biased, unreliable and often grotesquely misleading. Remember this the next time you're convinced that every member of other gender is a homogenous, immoral group, out to get you.
This is mainly a reminder to myself, because, I won't lie, I've received so many triggering and horrifying news on my feed, I feel terrified to walk out of my house as a 22yo grown woman quite a lot of times. From violence, rape, acid attacks, news outlets report crimes against women on a daily and it can get awfully overwhelming and scary if you're as chronically online like me. I urge you to not let these things get to you. I know it feels like the easy option to just not go out, not explore, not undertake that adventure, avoid that journey, but all of us doing it out of fear, although very valid, in a way enables this toxic culture. You shouldn't let such things get to you and actively curb the way you live life in any way. Take your required precaution, be careful and I say that because we still can't afford to just go about our life. But do go out. Don't stop living please. And don't lose trust in fellow humans. We need to keep speaking, advocating and creating dialogue to spread awareness, which actually furthers growth in a holistic direction. Don't give up.
In a world of extremes, let's bring back nuance. We have a long way to go as humans and feminists. It’s time we make the internet and social media feminist. Instead of growing further apart from each other, we should focus on building a safe space for all of us. Live in the reality from time to time to reconnect with real people, people who live by law, are morally and socially good people. Don't use the internet to further your confirmation bias and look around you. It isn't as bad as your feed has convinced you. Beware but don't lose faith. The day we do, everything we've worked so hard for is undone. Because we've made it happen always, we will do it now too.
This is one of my least “politically charged” pieces. I know what I've written and many might not agree with some stuff. But I think we can all agree that the gender divide has only widened in the past, especially on the internet and this can't be good. We have to live with each other in society, in homes, in workplaces and being so unaccepting of each other's opinions slows us and our movement down. Benefits none. The resistance is obviously more from men's side because feminism is undoing patriarchy which, even though disadvantageous for men, also benefits them. It's high time we work on making this better. Criticism and suggestions welcome. Thanks for reading!